


Aurelia

by pixiechenle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Coach Doyoung, Coach Johnny, Coming of Age, M/M, Mark is a burnt out gifted kid, Past Relationship(s), Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:36:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27672800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiechenle/pseuds/pixiechenle
Summary: Mark has grown up and left his childhood dreams. He´s coming to terms with what quitting volleyball meant for him, all while the relationship with his old coach advances.(or a short drabble i wrote after watching haikyuu)
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Aurelia

The longing feeling in Mark´s chest has been unbearable these past few days. All he has been thinking about is Johnny Suh. Ever since Mark and Jaemin broke up one year ago, it's been Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, a constant abiding memory in the back of his head. Though sometimes Mark wonders if it was Johnny even before Jaemin, but that's a scary thought so he prefers to keep it hidden away.

Mark lights a cigarette and lets his heart ache when he sees a couple passing him by. What if Johnny doesn´t love him?

“Whatcha doing out here?” A familiar and high-pitched voice asks. Mark looks straight at the boy with the blond horribly bad box dyed hair. 

“The question is, what are YOU doing out here, Chenle?” Mark counterattacks the question with a sarcastic tone. 

“It's only six pm, shouldn't I have the right to head towards practice?” Chenle smiles and gestures towards his sports bag with his volleyball shoes sticking out of a pocket. They´re standing outside the local practice hall that's used for almost every single sport in their small town. Mark misses when he used to play volleyball. He misses the way the ball would hit his hands, he misses how his team would cheer each other on and he misses the matches when he could feel his heart thumping in his chest.

Mark takes a drag from his cigarette and huffs out the smoke, right at Chenle´s face. The younger makes an overexaggerated disgusted facial expression. Mark chuckles. Chenle mutters and is just about to form a sentence about how nasty Mark is but gets cut off.

“Chenle, c´mere”, Jaemin shouts from the now - opened door. Light is beaming out and Chenle makes his cue to leave, excusing himself to Mark who shakes his head fondly. 

It passes another two minutes before the door opens again. And Mark´s heart rate stops abruptly when he sees the tall man with a smile plastered onto his face as though he already knew that Mark was waiting for him.

With swift movements Mark throws the burning cigarette on the ground, tramping over it with the sole of his worn-out sneaker. He's waiting for the man to come closer.

“Hey, kiddo”, Johnny ruffles Mark´s hair. Mark swats his hand away jokingly.

“Don´t call me that, I´m twenty now, remember?” He stares at Johnny with a faked-stern look. Johnny giggles.

“Then don't act like a kid”, Johnny´s lips are curved upwards in amusement. Mark shifts his weight from one foot to another and pouts a little. “Anyways, you do know that I still have to coach now? I was just taking a break right before I have to go in again”, Johnny explains and Mark gulps.

“Yeah, um…”

“You missed me I know”, Johnny laughs warmly and it rings in Mark´s ears. His cheeks turn red.

“I never said that”, he answers.

“Whatever, Mark. I really have to start practice soon”, he grabs Mark´s right hand and squeezes it softly. Mark shies away with his look even though all he wants to do is fixate his eyes on the older man. “But I'll text you when I get off, then I can come pick you up from wherever you are right?” He assures.

Mark hums in response and Johnny lets go of his hand, leaving a hot aching spot right above Mark´s knuckles. 

Mark sets off home again. He rides the bus at preciscely 6:15 pm. 

The shoebox apartment is stuffed and cramped. Mark hasn´t cleaned in a few weeks and it's especially noticeable in the kitchen where dishes are stacked upon each other. 

He sits down next to the oven on a stool, the fan is above the oven so he turns it on and lights another cigarette. He reads about how nicotine causes death on the cigarette package while smoking. 

One cigarette turns into seven until he receives a notification.

“where you at?” shines brightly on the phone display. Mark types back fast and within ten minutes Mark gets another text. It just says “outside” by Johnny at 7:54 pm.

Mark rushes out of his apartment, almost tripping in the stairwell. Johnny sits in his Audi SUV and scrolls through his phone outside the main door to Mark´s apartment building. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Doyoung was a bitch today”, Johnny explains and starts the car. 

“He still hasn't learned that most of them are like 16 and still children?” Mark asks sarcastically. 

“No”, Johnny responds shortly but drags in a breath. “Wanna get pancakes?” 

“Johnny, you know that I barely have mone-”

“I'll pay”, Johnny proposes. ”You’re still a college student, I know how it is”, he smiles suavely. Mark has to look away out of the window and decides to focus on the fairy lights climbing down someone’s balcony. Johnny starts the car and fairy lights fade off into distance.

”You’re too kind”, Mark mumbles.

”And you’re too broke”, the older laughs.

-

Pancakes at Soyoung’s is a small diner a bit outside town. It was first Mark’s and Jaemin’s hangout spot after practice but turned into Mark’s and Johnny’s. It’s odd being there for Mark, the memories of Jaemin still lingering at every table.

They sit down before receiving menus by a waitress Johnny knows. She’s dainty and has slender shoulders. Mark notes how Johnny smirks when they greet. 

”The usual?” Her high voice asks, almost like Chenle’s pitch. 

”Yeah for me, what ya’ want Mark?” Johnny asks and Mark stutters, trying to form a coherent sentence. 

”Uhm… The same”, he finally pushes out of his mouth. 

”Alrighty, nice seeing you, Johnny”, she says before turning her heel and making her ponytail swing. 

Mark stares after her, jealousy bubbling up in his chest. He feels a kick against his ankle under the table.

”Ouch”, Mark spurts out.

”Don’t stare, kid”, Johnny whispers. 

”Don’t call me kid”, Mark’s tone is agitated, nothing playful like before. Johnny sighs and puts his elbows on the table.

”She’s an old childhood friend”, Johnny explains. ”And she’s together with Ten”, he continues. Mark’s face is shocked.

”You mean that Ten isn’t gay?” Mark bursts out in laughter, so does Johnny.

”Yup, a hundred percent straight. Who could’ve known”, he answers after the laughter dies out. Silence settles. Mark decides to be bold, letting his right foot climb up Johnny’s left leg. Johnny clears his throat. Mark drops his foot to the floor in disappointment, remembering how Johnny dislikes public affection.

Another waitress serves their pancakes drenched in syrup. With a thud she settles the plates down and leaves. 

”Jaemin used to order this too”, Mark reminscens. 

”You talk about him like he’s dead”, Johnny chuckles and Mark cuts the stack of pancakes, syrup running down.

”Well we haven’t talked in like one year. We kinda lost contact when I quitted the whole volleyball thing”, Mark explains and bites into the paste. 

”You shouldn’t have quitted. You were one of the best setters in the entire province”, Johnny starts cutting the pancakes without looking up at the younger. ”You could’ve become the best if you’ve had just trained one more year”.

”Well, to be honest I wish I didn’t quit”, Mark says sadly. He hasn’t come to terms with the fact that he left his whole childhood behind and his dreams too. Now he really doesn’t know what to do in the future. ”But at the same time I had just been moved up to the adults and then I would’ve been nothing compared with them”.

”Mark, stop being melodramatic. You could’ve kept playing at your college team. It isn’t too late, you should pick it up again”, Johnny suggests. Mark wonders what it would be like playing with strangers. Jaemin and his team were a huge reason why he dragged himself to practice 5 days a week.

”Whatever. My lungs are dead”, Mark says and they finish their pancakes. 

-

Mark lays his head on Johnny’s chest in the cramped 35 inches wide bed. Breathing heavily, Mark feels his bare stomach heave up and down. Johnny’s chest is lukewarm against Mark’s skin. 

Johnny plays with Mark’s hair, twisting dark brown strands in between his index finger and thumb. Dust flies around the room, the window is cracked halfway open, letting the early Saturday sun make its way in.

”It’s odd”, Mark starts but cuts himself off. He flusters red at the thought of continuing his sentence.

”What is, Mark?” Johnny asks curiously and drags his other hand with soft movements across Mark’s arm, sending shivers down his body.

”Uhm-”

”You can tell me it’s okay”

”That I love you”, he spurts out in one single meaning.

The quietness falls after. This is exactly what Mark was afraid of, the almost threatening silence.

”Ah shit”, Johnny groans and shakes Mark off. Mark feels a single warm drop splash against his cheek when Johnny turns Mark around and stands up from the bed. He touches it with his fingertip and stares at the red spot planted on it. 

”Johnny why are you bleeding?” He asks, eyes still fixated on the blood on his fingertip.

”I jus-” He runs off to the bathroom, still only in his boxers. ”I got a nosebleed”, he shouts from the bathroom.

”Why the fuck did you get a nosebleed?” Mark tears his gaze away and stands up to go after Johnny. He finds the tall man crouched over the sink, he turns around and blood has slipped down his teeth and chin. 

”I love you too, Mark”, he says and his lips curve upwards. ”Now can you help me?”

”You- you do?”, Mark asks, still confused. Johnny nods. Mark beams with love, he wants to fall into Johnny's arms and never let go. He wants to bask in the warmth that is Johnny Suh.

”Sit down, I’ll dry it off or something”, he gestures to the toilet seat with a warm tone. Obediently Johnny sits down and Mark drags paper from the roll. Carefully drying off the blood that's run down Johnny´s neck Mark feels his heart double it´s beats. Johnny loves him. Why did Mark ever doubt it in the beginning? It was clear wasn't it? It was Johnny who actually made efforts to talk with Mark when he seemed tired that last year in high-school. It was Johnny who drove Mark home from late practices, stopping to eat ramen or drink iced-coffee. It was Johnny who kissed him first that one time when Mark was sobbing over something unimportant. It was Johnny, always. Even when Mark graduated Johnny and he promised to keep in touch. It's only been three months of officially dating Johnny but Mark starts to believe that it was Johnny even before Jaemin.

-

“Tell me why you're here again?” Chenle chirps. “Didn't you quit like one year ago?” He laughs and it sounds like a dolphin dying, or something like that, Mark notes.

It's a crisp evening in September and Mark has a thick scarf wrapped around his neck. Chenle waits for an answer outside the familiar practice hall. Chenle has his big sports bag with the school's logo on the side of it, it reads “NC. High School” in an ugly thick font, swung over his shoulder. Mark scans him up and down, viewing how worn-out Chenle´s Adidas pants are.

“No particular reason. Just wanted to see how bad you all have failed since I left”, Mark bites back. Chenle puts a hand on his chest dramatically and steps back.

“You´re telling me we´ve gotten bad since you left?” Chenle pauses with an obviously faked shocked voice. “No Mark”, he turns serious before continuing. “We´ve excelled. Didn't you hear that we got in third place in THE Nationals?” 

Mark gasps and mimics how Chenle put a hand on his chest earlier. “No I did not know, sorry my king”, he bows and Chenle immediately falls into laughter, folding himself over.

“You're already here?” A deep and smooth voice asks. Mark whips around to see Johnny standing on the side of the hall´s door in his black tracksuit.

“Coach Johnny you actually invited him over?” Chenle asks curiously. Johnny shakes his head.

“Kun got the brilliant idea after we chatted about previous players, I just agreed on it”, he confesses and gestures to them to come into the warmth of the hall. 

Chenle runs off to change into his practice jersey across the hall. Mark is taken aback when he steps in, the beige walls almost closing in on him. Around him are his old teammates and some new faces. He realizes someone else is wearing his old number. #2 is a scarily tall boy with a babyface. 

“Oh that's Park Jisung, he kinda took your place and status even though he's a first year”, Johnny says while leaning into Mark´s side. Mark doesn´t have words to describe how he's feeling so he stays quiet. Maybe he's upset but that doesn't feel quite right either. He's actually relieved that someone talented took his spot. He lets his gaze wander while Johnny talks on about the new members but all the noise fades away when he catches a familiar face. Jaemin has changed. From the brown-haired lanky boy he used to be Jaemin actually has grown into his features and sports a new hair color that Mark would've never guessed Jaemin would dye it. It's pink, not obnoxiously pink but rather a pastel shade. The color fits Jaemin.

Johnny goes silent and after a few seconds he excuses himself, saying that he has to help Doyoung and Kun. Mark stays still, lost in thought, until he realizes that Jaemin has catched his stare with his own brown and golden eyes. Mark panics and trips after Johnny.

“I thought Yukhei was supposed to be here too”, Doyoung states with a raised eyebrow, eyes trained on Mark, while handing over sheets to the manager. She takes them and puts them in different folders in a huge map.

“He got caught up in a shift and couldn't make it today”, Johnny answers and Doyoung focuses his look on Johnny instead. He hums and goes back to explaining which papers that should be marked to the manager.

“Yukhei was gonna be here?” Mark wonders and imagines how he and Yukhei would interact. It could be fumbly and awkward but knowing Yukhei he would just hug Mark tight and try to catch up as much as possible. 

“Didn't wanna make you disappointed, that's why I didn't mention anything”, Johnny says as he twists the whiteboard-pen open. He draws out a sloppy court on the board, marking out the regular players with numbers. 

Practice goes on, Jaemin doesn't even glance at Mark once. Mark stands with the coaches and the manager who scribbles down stuff in her notebook. He hears the squeaks from the volleyball shoes against the vinyl flooring, sees how excited the non-regulars are when they get to play on the court and to be honest, Mark misses everything about volleyball. The familiar melancholia settles in his stomach, why did he quit, just like that? He´ll never come to terms with that mistake.

The coaches call practice off, running through what they're going to do next practice. Mark sits down at the bench behind the coaches while they stand in front of him. Listening carefully to every word they utter Mark starts to shake his leg in an anxious state. He feels like an intruder. He shouldn't be here and he knows for a fact he's ruining Jaemin´s day. He feels like a virus attaching itself to the vinyl floor and pestering alongside the walls. If he hadn't quitted he wouldn't have felt this way. Letting a sigh escape his mouth, Mark feels useless. 

-

Johnny drives him to the shoebox apartment.

“Doyoung actually likes you”, Johnny assures when he follows Mark up the stairs.

“Yeah, sure”, Mark answers with an ironic tone.

“No, I'm serious. He misses you and Yukhei”, Johnny pauses when Mark unlocks the door. “Told me that he actually liked when you two bickered about dumb shit and ran across the whole gym. He insisted that practice felt a little bit more alive with you there”, Johnny finishes as he toes off his shoes. 

Mark doesn't say anything back but falls into Johnny's arms. Johnny has trouble steadying himself up, almost tripping backwards, when Mark goes limp in his embracement.

Hearing soft sobs makes Johnny hold him even tighter. 

“I don't wanna keep growing up”, Mark wets Johnny´s tracksuit with tears as he cries out about his youth.

“I'll be here. You can continue growing up with me”, Johnny comforts and cups Mark's tear stained cheeks. Leaning in, they meet in a kiss, slow and steady. Their lips click and clash.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY THIS IS SO SLOPPY I PROFREAD IT LIKE SEVEN TIMES AND IT STILL DIDNT TURN OUT GOOD!!!!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!!! anyways i wish i had a johnny to comfort me with my fears of growing up but i guess we cant have what we want in life


End file.
